The Oxymoron of the Act

Writing instructor Sean Water's recent prompt: Describe the best version of you in 3-5 years.

What comes up for you?

I imagined myself facilitating workshops, coaching, and giving presentations. I brainstormed presentation content and ideas from great thinkers and writers about faith, wellness, connection, beauty, hope. I wrote about possibilities for positive change.

My response was about doing and crediting others, not a bottomless bucket list that leads to more. I am seeking less these days. My freewrite focused on action, not essence. It was about work, but what I do does not feel like work. It feels more like pure engagement. 

Deep breath. Start over. 

The best version of me is love personified in listening with unconditional positive regard. Everyone is carrying something heavy. I envision weight being transported through sound and emotion waves to me and eventually dissipating as together we release what is into “thisness,” a term used often by Richard Rohr and quoted from John Duns Scotus. (Box checked about giving credit where it is due.) 

The best version of me recognizes that the human condition is quirky, that we are not alone in the suffering, the celebration, and the absurdness. We get to do this life thing in community - if we want. Everyone has their own way, their own dream to reference The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.   

The best version of me is curious, not judgmental; empathetic, not selfish; patient, not agitated; present, not distracted; ready, not sliding into home plate at the next opportunity to be present. These between spaces are tricky for me. The best version of me is good about transitioning smoothly from one place of presence to the next. I’m usually a smidge late.

The best version of me is Light even in the darkness. The best version of me is laughing, crying, aweing, and praying. The best version of me is all-in. 

My dad died September 23, 1988. He was 63. I was 26. I turned 62 last Friday. 

I better get my act together. 

Ironically, it has nothing to do with acting.